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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901660">Gossip is the devil's telephone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapehyasynth/pseuds/grapehyasynth'>grapehyasynth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Canon-typical outing, Episode: s05e11 Meet the Parents, M/M, Meet the Parents Redux, Misunderstandings, various povs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:42:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901660</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapehyasynth/pseuds/grapehyasynth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Meet the Parents redux - David and Patrick really are just business partners, even though the entire town seems to think they're secretly dating. When the Brewers come to town for Patrick's birthday, Johnny's just trying to find out if they know anything about that whole situation. Turns out they knew even less than he did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>249</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gossip is the devil's telephone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm going to try to save you all my negative self-talk and just let you read the thing. Thanks to reymanova for beta magic, such as requesting more logic and making sure I'm not turning Patrick into a can of pizza sauce, and to hagface and roguebaby for general emotional write-offs.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mr. Rose, I was supposed to be at the cafe twenty minutes ago to help David with the-”</p>
<p>“I know, Stevie, but Roland’s finally mowing the lawn after I asked him <em>three </em>times, so I just need your help here until Patrick’s parents arrive. Big day, Stevie, big day!”</p>
<p>Stevie would honestly rather watch Mr. Rose interact with the Brewers than help David try to explain his surprise party vision to Twyla anyway, so she sends David another inscrutable emoji-only text and settles in behind the desk. “Not every day you meet your son’s business partner’s parents.”</p>
<p>“Of course, of course. Though between you and me,” and here Mr. Rose leans over the desk, eyebrows almost quivering with excitement, “I’m hoping to take the moment alone to work them for scuttlebutt.”</p>
<p>Stevie tries not to roll her eyes. “Mr. Rose, you really should just let that drop, I don’t think-”</p>
<p>The office door opens before she can navigate the situation <em>(again)</em> of gently scolding her boss slash tenant. A kind, vaguely forgettable couple enters, looking around with bemused expressions and blue sweaters and very little in the way of eyebrows. <em>Brewers</em>.</p>
<p>“Oh, hello!” smiles Mr. Brewer, ushering his wife in with a hand on her back.</p>
<p>“You must be the Brewers!” Mr. Rose rushes forward, shaking both of their hands. “Welcome, welcome.”</p>
<p>Mr. Brewer, whom Stevie would already peg as being hatched from the same primordial dad stew as Mr. Rose, smiles amiably at them both. “I’m Clint, this is Marcy. You must be David’s dad.”</p>
<p>“I am! Johnny Rose. And this is Stevie. She works - well, here!” he laughs, and Stevie fights against rolling her eyes; how did this man run an actual corporation? “But she’s like family. Only don’t tell her that. You know how embarrassed kids get.”</p>
<p>“Mr. Rose,” Stevie mutters, probably proving his point.</p>
<p>“Hi Stevie,” Mrs. Brewer calls. “Nice to meet you.”</p>
<p>“You have a very nice - son,” Stevie replies, and oh wow she should really get back to her sudoku and not be part of <em>this</em> conversation anymore.</p>
<p>“Well, this is all very exciting!” Mrs. Brewer beams. “Can I assume we’ll see you tonight, at the party?”</p>
<p>“Oh, you definitely will! Wouldn’t miss it. David’s been planning for weeks, or so he tells us.”</p>
<p>“If he puts the same energy into the party that he’s put into their store, I can only imagine what a treat we’re in for,” Mr. Brewer chuckles. “Patrick’s been keeping us up to date about everything they’ve been doing, and I think it’s amazing how far they’ve come.”</p>
<p>“It is, it is,” Mr. Rose concurs, and Stevie doesn’t need to look to know just the kind of proud, slightly overwhelmed expression he’s sporting right now. But she does look, because she’s got a soft spot for seeing the Roses uncomfortably heartwarmed. “Although you know, I remain a bit of a skeptic when it comes to those two.”</p>
<p>“Mr. Rose,” Stevie says warningly, while the Brewers exchange a confused glance.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I don’t - I don’t understand what you mean,” Mr. Brewer says.</p>
<p>“Well, you know,” Mr. Rose shrugs, with all the nonchalance of a teenager buying illicit drugs for the first time. “They <em>say</em> they’re only partners in <em>business</em>, but we’ve long suspected differently! Wouldn’t be the first time David’s hid a romantic partner from us.”</p>
<p>Stevie’s seen this buffering expression before, aged down a bit on Patrick’s face. “Sorry, a - a romantic partner?” Mrs. Brewer repeats.</p>
<p>“Okay, judging from your faces, they’ve kept it a secret from you two as well! That makes me feel a bit better, to be honest.” How is Mr. Rose <em>still talking</em>? “My wife and I, we haven’t always been that close to our children, but we thought we’d made some progress, and I have to admit I felt a little hurt at being left out of this major part of my son’s life, but if Patrick hasn’t told you either-”</p>
<p>“<em>Okay</em>,” Stevie interrupts, as loudly as she can, and she snatches the Room 3 key off the pegboard and rounds the desk as fast as she can. She only just restrains herself from forcibly stopping Mr. Rose from talking. “What Mr. Rose is trying to say is that David and Patrick get along very well but are very much not anything more than business partners, so there’s really no need to discuss that any further! Why don’t I show you to your room, Mr. Brewer, Mrs. Brewer.”</p>
<p>She ushers the still-shellshocked couple out of the office with a last threatening glance back at Mr. Rose.</p>
<p>The Brewers trail behind her, but she can hear them whispering.</p>
<p>“Why would he think Patrick and David were- Patrick’s not- Is he?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>hey david so quick question</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>in nautical terms</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>what would be the distress call directly below SOS in terms of severity</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>i don’t know</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>stevie why would i know that</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>go ask alexis that’s the kind of thing she knows</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>also are you ever coming to help me</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>or like the birthday clown i once dated are you making promises you can’t keep</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>i’m not going to ask alexis</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>i just wanted to text you SOS but without freaking you out</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>just like</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>a small freakout</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>not answering my question about when i can expect an appearance from you, then</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>so the brewers are here</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>FUCK they’re early!!!! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>they’re early even on the brewer-adjusted schedule</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>i literally accounted for them being early and they’re still early</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>yeah well that’s not all</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>fuck</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>your dad talked to them</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>FUCK</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>and he may have been on his “david and patrick are secretly dating” shtick again</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>to them</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>at them</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>on them</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>wtf is wrong with my father/ this town/everyone??!?!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>how many FUCKING times do we have to PUBLICLY declare we’re not dating</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>was our horror at jocelyn’s attempt to gift us a sensual couple’s massage for our one year store anniversary not enough??</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>thanks for that coupon btw</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>jake and i really enjoyed it 😉</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>GROSS</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>you’re welcome</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>tbf to everyone</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>if you two spent less time making cow eyes at each other across your very public store</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>people would probably find this a less compelling rumor</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>just bc i am needy and pathetic</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>and he is nice</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>and we laugh at each other’s jokes and enjoy each other’s company</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>does NOT mean we’re dating</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>however much you might wish you were</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>listen</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>what i cry myself to sleep about is my business</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>and no one else’s</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>patrick and me not dating is NO ONE’S BUSINESS</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>and hey one more question</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>patrick’s, like, out</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>right? </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>um</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>i mean</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>he’s definitely called himself gay in front of me</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>and in front of customers and stuff</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>he goes on dates in public i think</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>you say that like you don’t hate-stalk all of his dates online</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>okay but why do you ask stevie</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>WHY DO YOU ASK</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>well</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>it kind of sounded like patrick’s parents were a little blindsided</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>and i don’t know if that was like ‘our son’s been hiding an important relationship from us’ kind of freakout</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>or a</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>‘our son’s secret relationship is with a man’ kind of freakout</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi,” David breathes when Patrick opens the door.</p>
<p>“Hi, David! I - is everything okay at the store?”</p>
<p>“Mhm, everything’s fine, um - these are for you,” he says, revealing the flowers he’d tucked behind his back. “Happy birthday!”</p>
<p>The warm joy that spills over Patrick’s face as he takes in the bouquet makes David wish they could forget about the surprise party and the Brewers and the rest of the town and their gossip. Maybe they can just hide out here, away from it all. “David! You shouldn’t have. These are beautiful. Come in, please.”</p>
<p>David follows him into Ray’s kitchen, watching as Patrick searches for a vase to put the flowers in. He chooses a chunky yellow one that’s going to be completely the wrong height for these flowers, but David’s too focused on the ongoing crises to expend his energy correcting that mess right now.</p>
<p>“Hey, do you want to stay for lunch? I’ve got some dough in the bread machine for pizza, a little treat for myself. I can leave the peppers off one side of it if you stay-”</p>
<p>“No, thank you, I should get back to the store,” David says regretfully. “Um, are you using Juan’s homemade pizza sauce, though, because that would really elevate- Oh my god, not important, I can’t stay. I just came to give you the flowers and wish you happy birthday again and to - well-”</p>
<p>“David?” Patrick abandons the flowers half-arranged next to the sink and slides closer along the counter. “Is everything okay?”</p>
<p>David squeezes his eyes shut. That’s the second time Patrick’s asked that; he shouldn’t be the one doing the comforting here. “Okay, um, you know the salmonella outbreak at the cafe?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Patrick frowns. “Oh no, did you contract it?”</p>
<p>“Oh god, no, ew. It’s just - well, there is no outbreak. That was - that was a ruse to keep you away from the cafe. Because we’re throwing you a surprise party.”</p>
<p>Patrick’s face does that smile-like-dawn-breaking thing again. “Oh, <em>wow</em>, David. I’ve always wanted a surprise party!”</p>
<p>“I know,” David nods, biting down on a smile. “You think you’ve been subtle about it but you’ve mentioned it, like, six times since I’ve known you.”</p>
<p>Patrick’s looking flushed and amped up and a little bit breathless, like he did when he strongarmed David into playing baseball a few weeks ago. (Okay, it was hardly a hardship, because Patrick had looked <em>very</em> cute in his uniform and David thinks Patrick might even have been checking David out in his tight little white pants a few times? Plus there was a barbecue.) “Wow. Um, why are you telling me this, though? Kinda kills the surprise part.”</p>
<p>“I know, and believe me I would not ruin the theme of a party unless it were really critical, as much as you can call <em>surprise</em> a theme. But, um. Part of that surprise...was inviting your parents. Here. Your parents are here.”</p>
<p>“<em>What?</em>” Patrick laughs, leaning into the counter with one hand. “But the drive’s like six hours and Mom works late-”</p>
<p>“We’ve been planning it for weeks,” David admits. “Months, really. They were very eager. They took vacation time and everything.”</p>
<p>“Ah, gee,” Patrick breathes, looking positively bowled over, and David doesn’t know what to feel more emotional about, that his business partner says <em>ah gee</em> like a slicked-hair hooligan from <em>West Side Story</em> or that he clearly has no concept of just how much the people who love him are willing to do for him. “David, I don’t know how to thank you.”</p>
<p>“Mmm, maybe hold off on that a sec!” David chuckles nervously. “Because when your parents checked in at the motel this morning, it seems my dad greeted them with everyone’s favorite old speculation about, uh, about you and me. About us, about our - about you and me being <em>more than</em>. Being - hmm. My dad told your parents that he thinks you and I are secretly dating,” he finally gets out in a rush. “And Stevie was there and tried to cut him off at the pass and told them that it’s not true, and I could go tell them too, just to - to really drive that home, but I thought you should know-”</p>
<p>Another transformation has come over Patrick’s face, but this is one David hasn’t seen before, and it’s not one he likes. Patrick looks more pale than normal and the edges of his lips have gone a little white. “Oh,” he manages, and he turns very deliberately, picks up the vase of flowers, walks with it into the living room, sets it down on the coffee table, and then sits very heavily on Ray’s couch.</p>
<p>David, having followed him, blinks. “Mmkay, I’m trying not to be offended by that reaction.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Patrick says, sounding a little hollow, but when he looks up at David his gaze is still a bit distant. “I’m - I’m not out to my parents yet.”</p>
<p>David’s shoulder slips from where he’s leaning against the doorframe. “Oh,” he says. He understands the sudden intensification of gravity that caused Patrick’s descent now. He barely makes it to the couch before his knees give way. He squeezes his eyes shut; this is worst-case scenario. He’d been clinging to a scrap of hope that Stevie had misunderstood, that the Brewers were just disappointed they’d been excluded from a major part of Patrick’s life. “Oh, fuck.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was planning to come out to them soon, but I wanted to do it in person, and I haven’t had a chance, and - and now I kind of feel like your dad stole my thunder,” he finishes on a weak chuckle.</p>
<p>“Oh - my god. Oh my god, Patrick, my dad <em>outed</em> you, I am -” David flails for a minute, literally and emotionally, completely incapable of thinking of anything he can say that would be enough. “I am <em>so </em>sorry, Patrick- I shouldn’t have invited them without asking-”</p>
<p>Patrick’s shaking his head, turning on the couch to face David. “He didn’t know, David, he couldn’t have known. And honestly, it’s okay. I’ve gotten so used to being out, here, that I kind of forgot I still had to do this one.” He looks down, the thumb of one hand rubbing intensely at the wrist of the other. “That’s a lie. I couldn’t forget about this one. It - it feels harder. I don’t know why it feels harder. I know my parents are good people, but-” He cuts himself off with a wet gasp.</p>
<p>David doesn’t know what the protocol is here for a business partner, but he can’t just - he has to - he starts rubbing Patrick’s back, over his shoulders that are tight as he curls in on himself, up and down his spine, feeling a slight tremble in Patrick’s body. “Okay, what you are dealing with is <em>very</em> personal, and it’s something you should only do on your terms. Okay?”</p>
<p>He smoothes the back of Patrick’s hair and his neck and waits for Patrick to nod.</p>
<p>“I know you said you were planning to come out to them soon, but just because I overreached and my dad - did what my dad does best, and really - really <em>stepped </em>in it, doesn’t mean you need to do anything you’re not ready for. I will go to your parents and tell them it was all just a - just a big misunderstanding.”</p>
<p>But Patrick’s shaking his head, and he looks up at David with tired, determined eyes. “It’s time, David. I want to be out to them.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” David whispers, and he knows this next bit is going to hurt, so he brings both hands around to take one of Patrick’s, wrapping up his thick wrists and blunt fingers and dry knuckles. “Um, in college, I brought home this couple and just told my parents to deal with it? And obviously it’s not necessary that you be seeing someone to be able to come out, but it can make it easier, so. I could be - I could be more than just your business partner. For the day. If that helps? Lean into the rumor, just to make it easier to-”</p>
<p>Patrick glances down at their entwined hands. “I can’t ask you to do that, David.”</p>
<p>“Right, of course, you’re - you’re probably already seeing someone-”</p>
<p>“That’s not it.”</p>
<p>“Okay, well, I could ask Ted if he’d pretend to be your boyfriend, for the weekend, I’m sure Alexis wouldn’t- He’s probably more the kind of guy you’d want to-”</p>
<p>“David,” Patrick says, firmly enough that it draws David up short. He waits, and Patrick reverses the hold of their hands so his are on the outside, cradling David’s, and David - he gets it. Patrick’s taking charge. He’s making order for himself. <em>He’ll be okay</em>. “In the spirit of coming out, I should tell you that I can’t ask you to be my fake boyfriend because I’ve been planning to ask you for real for some time now.”</p>
<p>David blinks. And blinks again. “Oh.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I - I had this whole big thing in the works for your birthday, and now I’m wishing I could’ve been a bit more spontaneous.” He smiles a little and wipes his nose with the back of his wrist. “I guess I got used to this, I don’t know, kind of idyllic bubble we’ve been living in, and I thought I’d always have enough time.”</p>
<p>“You do,” David reminds him gently. “You have time. For - for this, for us, but for all of it. You can take your time. And we don’t - I am very curious to hear more about you wanting to date me, but today doesn’t - we don’t have to figure that out right now, if that’s too much for one day-”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Patrick says earnestly. “But I - I do really want it all to - to be a part of my life, <em>now</em>. I - I think I’ve waited enough. I think we’ve all waited long enough. I’m not - I’m not going to come out to my parents <em>because</em> I want to date you, but they’re...interrelated. They’re two things about my life that are important to me.”</p>
<p>David nods, a little lost for words as something burns in his throat. “Um, you can. You can still do something big for my birthday, if you want.”</p>
<p>Patrick laughs. “Oh, I wouldn’t consider not. But, uh. I know it’s a little unconventional, but would you like to be my date to the surprise birthday party you’re throwing me?”</p>
<p>David knows he looks like a bobblehead in his eagerness to respond, but he almost doesn’t care. “Mhm. Yes, that sounds - nice. We should - I would like that.”</p>
<p>“Okay, great,” Patrick murmurs, and his gaze has dropped to David’s lips.</p>
<p>It’s a gentle kiss - and David’s still not sure how he went from cleaning up his father’s mess to kissing Patrick on Ray’s couch in, like, ten minutes. Patrick’s hand is steady on David’s knee, David cradles the back of Patrick’s head, and when they part, David presses a kiss to Patrick’s temple and Patrick nuzzles into David’s neck. They hold each other for a moment. That’s - that’s new. David’s never kissed someone and then hugged them after. It’s like - it’s like they’re kissing with their whole bodies. Which, ew. But - he closes his eyes and squeezes Patrick a little tighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“SURPRISE!”</p>
<p>Patrick laughs and leans forward a little, hands on his thighs as he feigns shock at the crowd awaiting him in the cafe - the Roses, his parents, Stevie, a dozen other townspeople. “Oh my god, David, I thought we were just having a casual dinner!”</p>
<p>“Well,” David shrugs, and his face travels through pride and amusement and excitement in the second before they hug - a quick hug this time; Patrick has to let him go faster than he’d want to.</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, Patrick!” Mr. Rose calls from over David’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“What is happening?” Patrick chuckles, stepping forward to hug his parents now. “I thought you guys were out of town!”</p>
<p>“Well, technically we are,” his mom beams.</p>
<p>“You all catch up!” David urges, ushering Patrick and his parents toward a booth. “We have enough crab cakes to last us into the early hours of the morning, so take your time. Um, and let me know if you want me to bring you a plate of hors d’oeuvres, or something. Genuinely so many crab cakes.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be right there,” Patrick tells his parents, and they look a little unsure but they proceed without him while he hangs back with David. It’s so strange, and yet so right, seeing them here, sitting in the booth where he and David have shared many a lunch, where he knows the Roses often have dinner. He thinks - he’s pretty sure they’ll still be sitting there, in a minute, when he tells them, but if something goes wrong and that booth is forever tainted for him- “David,” he says urgenty. “What if they don’t react the way I think they will?”</p>
<p>David smiles gently and squeezes Patrick’s biceps. It’s not a gesture that anyone could confuse for business-partnerly, but it releases something in Patrick’s chest, so he doesn’t care. “Then I will be here, and we’ll get through it together.”</p>
<p>Patrick exhales shakily. “That’s a lot to ask of someone I haven’t even gone on a date with yet.”</p>
<p>“Fortunately for you,” David says, and it might just be the lights strung up in the cafe, but he looks possibly more beautiful than ever, “I would be here to support you even if I didn’t want to date you. Which I do. To be clear.”</p>
<p>“Right.” Patrick wishes he could kiss him again, but he really needs to take care of things first. “Okay. Thank you. I - I’m really lucky to have you, David.”</p>
<p>David shakes his head, clearly overwhelmed, and pushes Patrick towards his parents. “Go, go.”</p>
<p>His mom looks up as he slides in across from them. “This is a lovely party, Patrick. David did a wonderful job.”</p>
<p>“You’ve clearly made some great friends here,” his dad adds.</p>
<p>It makes Patrick want to cry, how normal they’re trying to be.</p>
<p>“I have,” he says. “It’s - I didn’t expect to feel as at home as I do. I’m really - I’m really happy here.” The certainty of it unfurls in him as he says it. “Maybe the happiest I’ve ever been.”</p>
<p>His mom is already getting a little teary. “That’s so wonderful, my sweet boy. Because earlier, David’s dad said-”</p>
<p>“Yeah, about that, actually,” Patrick chuckles nervously. “I, uh, I heard there was a bit of a misunderstanding, earlier. With Mr. Rose.”</p>
<p>His parents exchange a look. “A misunderstanding?” his dad says.</p>
<p>“Yeah. And it’s important to me that you know that I have <em>not</em> been hiding a relationship from you. There’s no - there hasn’t been a secret partner.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” His mother nods, and he can tell she’s modifying her reaction, trying to play down her relief for his benefit. “You’re entitled to live your own life, of course, but we - I have to say I think we’re glad to know there’s no secret.”</p>
<p>“Well-” Patrick chokes out.</p>
<p>“Patrick?” his dad prompts gently.</p>
<p>“Um. Hmm.” He clears his throat and tries again. “I haven’t been hiding a relationship from you, or from anyone else. But I. I haven’t - you don’t.” He can’t look at David, standing across the room with his family, he <em>can’t</em> - he wants to, wants to draw strength from them, but he wants to do this for <em>himself</em>, and a little for his parents too, which maybe isn’t quite <em>right</em>, but it’s what he needs. “There is something I haven’t - gotten the chance to share with you. I’m - I’m gay,” he announces.</p>
<p>He expects time to slow or the room to fall quiet or his parents to need a minute, but their faces are still moving in normal speed, his dad’s expression tilting into one of the upside down smiles that Patrick knows he himself often wears, his mom’s eyes widening a little.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Dad says.</p>
<p>“And I - I’ve wanted to tell you,” Patrick presses on, because they haven’t leapt up from their seats in horror, so maybe he can do this. “And I don’t know why - I’m not sure why it felt so hard. But I - I’d like to try to figure that out. Um. Work through that, with you guys, going forward. If that’s - something you’d be okay talking about.”</p>
<p>Mom is blinking very quickly, and she’s clearly about to lose the battle against the tears, but her expression is one he’s seen a dozen, a hundred, a thousand times in his life, and it’s so safe, so warm. He’d been worried they’d look at him differently so he hadn’t prepared himself to be looked at like that, like he’s always been looked at by his parents. “I can see that this has been weighing on you, and I’m sorry if we ever did anything to make you feel like you couldn’t tell us, but - I’ve never seen you this relaxed and happy. And I’m so proud of you, my sweet boy. And I’m so glad you want us to be a part of that.”</p>
<p>Patrick lets out a hiccuping, gasping laugh of a sob as she takes his hands across the table. “I do. I do want you to be a part of it.”</p>
<p>Dad’s lower lip looks like it’s in danger of trembling, which is probably why he says, a touch too loud, “But you’re not dating David? I have to say, throwing a surprise party seems like a bit much for just a business partner.”</p>
<p>Patrick finally allows himself to look across the room. All of the Roses and Stevie are not-so-subtly watching the Brewers’ conversation unfold, and Patrick grins as five heads quickly whip in the other direction, pretending to be occupied by anything but. But David glances back, seemingly unable to stop himself, and their eyes meet, and this is a night Patrick will remember for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>“Well, about that,” he grins, turning back to his parents.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s almost midnight, and there are still dozens of crab cakes uneaten and more in the cafe’s freezer. The Brewers, tired from a long day of traveling and emotional revelations, have already left for the motel with promises of brunch and a tour in the morning. Patrick is perched on a stool at the counter, David standing next to him, one hand absently on Patrick’s waist and Patrick’s head tilted back against his chest.</p>
<p>“So, uh, I understand some thanks are in order,” Mr. Rose says, apropos of nothing, as he sidles up with a cocktail.</p>
<p>“Mmm, you’re welcome for your inclusion at such an amazing party even after the disaster you caused this morning,” David snarks.</p>
<p>“Well, son, really <em>you</em> should be thanking <em>me!</em>” Mr. Rose gestures between the two of them. “Seems to me it was <em>because</em> of my involvement that you two ended up getting your act together!”</p>
<p>“Nope, no no no no nope, Dad, <em>this</em>,” David says, and he strokes both hands down Patrick’s shoulders and arms, “is <em>not</em> an endorsement of your meddling and rumor-mongering. If anything this has happened <em>despite</em> your best efforts to interfere.”</p>
<p>“Well, if you change your minds, you know where you can send the flowers!”</p>
<p>“We don’t be doing that!” David snaps as his dad strolls away, looking far too pleased with himself. “Fuck, I think he’s genuinely proud of himself. He <em>literally</em> outed you.”</p>
<p>“Can you be mad at him tomorrow?” Patrick asks, tilting his head up to look at David. “This is kind of the best birthday I’ve ever had, and I know that doesn’t excuse what he did, but it - I am a little grateful.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, don’t let him hear you say that,” David groans, but he takes Patrick’s face in both hands and kisses him. “Happy birthday, Patrick. I’d eat a dozen expired crab cakes for you.”</p>
<p>“You’d eat a dozen expired crab cakes for yourself,” Patrick corrects him. “And I know you’ve already given me the best birthday gift I could ask for, but how about a dance?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>some days you just can't be bothered with the texting skin sry</p></blockquote></div></div>
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